So You Will Know

This is to those who have loved me so well in this life. It is a little mushy but I am just that way. Maybe I just want the last word! If any one shows up at my memorial service please read this. Now don't get excited, I'm talking about the far future not soon!

Know that I have taken your love with me

And I have left my love here

To always be beside you.

When I go

I will be in the summer breeze

That caresses your skin,

The cloud that softens the heat of the sun

On your brow,

The glint of light on river waters

And the sound of night birds outside your window.

I will be in the love that smiles gently

When you stumble,

And the laughter of children when they play,

In the purr of a kitten,

And in the rhythm of my poetry.

I will live in the sweetest note of music you hear.

If you must cry

Then let your tears water the garden in your heart.

Remember how to smile after your tears

And know I will always love you.

The essence of my being

Will never leave you

But will simply join with you.

These things will be true when I die

But now I live

And I hope I live better each day.

The love you have given me

Has made me a person who knows how to love

And I have loved you all so much.

When I go I will have lived,

Truly lived.

Thank you so much for being my teachers

And the light upon my path.

What a journey it has been!

I will see you on the next playground!

Laura

What have you done?

My life was figured out,
All neatly tucked in at the corners

With no loose ends,

And no stray threads,

All sewed up.

I knew exactly who I was,

What I liked

And who I would spend my life with.

Now I must examine myself.

With only a smile and

A warm hand in mine,

You have toppled my world

And shaken me

To my very foundation.

And you don't even know it.

You may never know

Because I may never have enough

Courage to tell you.

What have you done?

Love doesn't ask permission to enter.

It slips in under the door,

Around the corner,

Or through the open window

Left raised by loneliness

It comes like a daydream

Finally realized,

Or a fairy tale

So familiar since childhood.

What did you do?

I suspect that you have just been you

And that is your transgression.

Backyard

I arose early this morning,

A whole lot earlier than I wanted to.

You know how it is,

Rough night at work

Too tired to sleep peacefully

A few hours spent

Fitfully sleeping

With reality mixed in with my dreams

I finally just gave up on sleeping

And resentfully started the day.

I did all the morning things,

Coffee pot on first of course,

Then armed with my first cup

The dogs and I went outside.

They, of course, were gleefully bouncing

Happy to be let out,

Happy to be dogs.

They kept inviting me to join the fun

But I refused.

Too much to think about,

Serious stuff you know.

Besides, I was way too grouchy

To play dog games.

Maybe it was the coffee kicking in

And maybe it was something much stronger

But as I sat nursing my coffee

I saw the first blush of sunrise

On the eastern sky

And then a mockingbird

Came to sing his sweet song

And even I couldn't ignore the wonder

Of this peaceful kingdom

Our backyard...

I sat there and thanked God

For bouncing dogs

And mockingbird songs

And for you.

I missed you this morning

For My Little Brothers

Angry words said, disguised with a smile

Criticizing other people for things they can't change

Upraised fists, proclaiming wars

Fighting for causes in battles that will never end

Eyes that don't see

Ears that will never hear

Minds that do not comprehend

This my children is your world

The words you speak may determine it's course

The battles you choose can either be for the good of mankind

Or to destroy it

I pray you will not close your eyes to others

Perhaps you will be able to hear the voices

Of the poor and suffering

Maybe you will develop your minds and not let them lie fallow

I'm sorry I cannot give you a better world

Perhaps you will make it better.

This was written when my brothers were just little boys. Being their big sister, I always felt responsible for them and at the time I wrote this I was feeling like I should have been able to help them a lot more than I could. Little did I know that the last line of the poem would be a wish that would come true. They have made the world better in so many ways. They are both fine young men and I am so very proud of them. I only wish that our Mom could see them now, she would be so proud of them too. Come to think of it she probably does see them and I know it must make her happy.

Letters To Gracie # 15

I know you are afraid

To share the truth about your life

With other people.

I know you fear their judgement

And I know you are afraid

They won't even believe you.

The things that happened to you

Shouldn't be true, but they are.

You suffered so much

And you buried your pain for so long.

I feel you shying away from the pain,

From the horror of speaking the words.

Don't be afraid little one,

You are safe.

I believe you and I know your pain is real,

I feel it.

The memory of that terrible hurt lingers on

But it is in the past.

No one will ever hurt you like that again

Because I will protect you.

There is so much power

In speaking the words.

So much healing in the telling

To understanding ears.

Release the secret.

Others too have felt pain like yours

And they will honor your courage.

Go and tell your story,

The story of your pain,

Of your progress,

Of your healing.

Share your pain and your hope,

Share the joy of becoming free.

Go with courage.

I will hold your hand.